Final Reflections

In about a week I will probably face the largest change in my life. I will leave the state I have lived in all my life and move into a completely different culture. I will start at a new school in a field that I don’t have a ton of experience in and have no idea what to expect. I will know no one and will be plunged in head first. I also will have to work for a living. Did I mentioned that in a few short months I am getting married? I may be a bit nervous… OK I’m really nervous but, I have seen the glory of God so I’ll be alright.

 

Have you ever been in a situation like mine? Probably, and if you haven’t then I bet you will be soon. So what do you do when everything seems to be turned completely upside down? You do the most illogical thing imaginable, you fall on your knees. You turn from the dark and unknown and trust the One who will be with you and stay the same. You put your feet on the one solid rock and corner stone in this world. You build your life on the one who will never change and face anything that this world has to through at you.

 

This past summer has been the beginning of this transition. From Basilea through NYCUP I learned more about God’s power that I ever thought I would. I learned that I have a lot to learn and that there is much that I can’t hope to accomplish on my own. Basilea (InterVaristy’s year end leadership retreat) taught me that I may have grown a lot but I still have a lot to learn looking at the leaders of InterVarsity. NYCUP taught me that I am not capable of handling every situation myself and I need to put myself in God’s capable hands.

 

This past week has taught me that patience and faith in God is not easy but worth it. Many times we don’t see what God sees… Well we never actually see what God does. So it can be really hard to trust His judgment when He chooses to wait. I saw first hand how God can work and reveal a plan that is even more complete than I thought possible. While I was in Dallas, in two days God supplied an apartment at DTS itself that shouldn’t have been possible. He also revealed an opportunity that would put me in a fairly good financial position that had never occurred to me. Even if He doesn’t choose to operate this way, I learned my lesson. God isn’t going to give me what I think is best, He is going to give me what He thinks is best and that might mean waiting, a long time.

 

This doesn’t make it any easier honestly. There is so much unknown and so much change but, that is what God’s grace is all about. When everything else is on quick sand, He is the solid rock. The unchangeable one, the corner stone of the Church. If we place our trust and faith in Him then there is nothing that can drag us under.

Week 5

 When looking back on what I have learned so far I think the overarching idea is, God needs to be the focus on all that we do. When we pray, when we do missions, when we work, when we listen to music, when we read the Bible. All that we do needs to be focused on God. What I mean is God is the reason we pray for other people, or read the bible, or do missions, or serve. It isn’t about us or the other people but solely about God. But, isn’t praying for other people about them? No it isn’t it’s actually all about God.

Before NYCUP I hadn’t really thought too much about this. I never really focused on God as my purpose for serving or praying for people. I was always serving to help people, or praying to bring them closer to God. I don’t think I ever prayed or served just because God is who he is. I don’t mean to discredit the work I or anyone else has done. All the service and work is still good and it does still belong to God. The difference that it makes when you make God your reason is the quality of the experience. When I started putting God as my reason for cooking this week, or for praying for other people. It stopped being as stressful. I realized I was serving God instead of the other person and that made all the difference. I didn’t have to stress about the quality of my prayer because I knew that it was for God and, He understood what I was saying. When I was cooking I realized that I was making this meal for God and He would love whatever came out. So I didn’t need to stress and I was more readily able to give up my weaknesses to God.

In this act of surrender I moved from a position of working to a position of being served. When I did these things for God, He blessed me in my work and I was able to find peace in what I was doing. However, doing this isn’t always easy. Many times while I was in the kitchen I needed to step away, cool down, and remember who I was doing this for. God is good and no mater what the work is He will bless us as we serve. So how about praying for others? When we watched Father of Lights I saw a number of healings and other miracles just happen. Why is it for some people miracles just seemed to happen all the time and for others it never seemed to happen? I think the key thing that differentiates between the two is what you’re focused on. The people who went out and prayed weren’t focused on a miracle, a conversion, or even serving the person they were praying for. Instead they were focused on serving Jesus and the love of God. That is what made the difference I believe. It was faith in who God is and a desire to serve Him that allowed the miracle to happen. God met them with His blessing because they were looking for Jesus not a response to what was being prayed.

I believe that the Bible speaks to this in Matthew 25: 31-46. It is the story of the sheep and the goats. Where Jesus separates the people as a flock, the sheep at His right hand and the goats on His left. The sheep are blessed because they served with a heart focused on God. They weren’t doing it for a reward because they didn’t know they were going to get one. So then why would they serve others? Well they were following the command of the Father. Each one of the things that Jesus mentions are commands that God laid out in the law. They were acting in obedience to God which is why Jesus says that they were serving Him instead of the physical people they were serving. That is the model that I strive to achieve, to serve Jesus by serving, loving, and praying for others. Not for their sakes, but for the sake of God above.

What is Justice?

So I decided to post again in light of all that has happened this past weekend and because I missed last week so I thought I would write another post. So the event on many peoples mind right now is Zimmerman’s acquittal. A lot of people are up in arms about this decision and threatening rioting. In all this commotion a lot of people are torn and confused about all of this.

So what has happened to justice? Events like this cause many people to forget what real justice is. Real justice doesn’t happen in court. It isn’t a jail sentence, death sentence, or a fine. It is a man hanging on a tree. Justice true justice is in God and God alone. He is the only one who can be truly just, and that doesn’t always coincide with what we think justice is or what the world thinks justice is. In Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Exodus, etc. God established that He was the administrator of justice. He was the judge and jury. So when things like the Zimmerman happen and we start to question what justice is there, we have to remember that justice, true justice, is administered even though it might not be in a form we understand, or want. The fact of the matter is, if God wanted Zimmerman in jail he would have put him there. God is still sovereign over all things despite all the corruption in the world, even in the American Justice system. God’s justice isn’t defined by the same things we do or the country does.

I think that God’s justice Biblically is in two parts. The first part is punishment, and the second part is redemption and transformation. When Israel strayed from God he first punished them, he would strike them with plagues, death, famine, exile, etc. but then he would always bring them back to him. There is punishment for sins then redemption and transformation. So what does this look like now, where is the punishment for all of our sins? The truth is that the punishment was administered already! Jesus paid the price for all of our sins. None of us are without sins, we all deserve punishment and none of us are really any better than Zimmerman. This statement can seem ridiculous unless we look at ourselves. Not just superficially but actually deeply look at ourselves and what we have done. It used to be really easy for me to pass judgment on people like that and just blame them for their mistakes. Then a terrible event happened in my own life. I was involved in a car accident that took the life of my grandmother. I had to take an honest look at my own sins and realize just how messed up I am. I realized that I wasn’t any better of a person then many of the people I was judging, and that I was deserving of the same punishment. However, my punishment was handed out to Jesus Christ just like all of our punishment was, so we no longer have to pay that price! Such good news right? So then what about the second part? If the punishment aspect of God’s justice has been dealt already where does that leave us now?

Well now that God’s anger has been poured out on Christ He can work to bring us back to him. God used the accident in my life to show me true forgiveness and transformation. I knew that I was deserving of judgment but, I was given grace because I was still alive, I wasn’t charged with anything serious, and my family did not ever hold it against me. I learned that God doesn’t work through punishment and damnation but through grace and forgiveness. Following Jesus and submitting to His power is how we can find the second part of God’s justice. So what if the best way for God to bring Zimmerman back to Him was for Zimmerman to not be in jail? It’s a challenging thought I know, but God doesn’t work in our context He works in His own. And to Him justice isn’t solely about punishment but also about redemption.

So then what do we do with all this? We know that we shouldn’t rage about this decision and riot about it. We also can’t be apathetic and not care about the situation. What we can and need to do is pray. It seems so simple but, it’s probably the most powerful thing we can do. So pray that God will meet Zimmerman. Pray that God will tear down the corruption in the system. Pray for God’s justice to come down to this earth. You might not realize the power you invoke when you pray prayers like this. Not half-hearted prayers but, prayers that bring you into deep relationship and conversation with a God that is bigger our American justice system, bigger than racism and corruption, bigger than our own desires and emotions. A God who desires a restored relationship with him through His Son Jesus Christ. Do this and experience a power greater than anything this world could offer.

Week 3/4

So it has been a while since I have written a blog and I apologize the past two weeks have been fairly crazy. But God is still good and will always be good! Sometimes I get lost in the business and the work and forget the more important parts of life. Falling before the feet of God and just trusting him is a large part of what I have been missing. These past few weeks I have been struggling with understanding the point of what I have been doing. I have felt confused and was getting frustrated.

But despite all that God has been working in my life. Just because we don’t understand how God is going to use these things in our lives doesn’t mean that He wont. God can see the full tapestry and even the small things in our lives play an important roll in the overall scheme. And even if he doesn’t ever tell us what that purpose was we still need to treat each experience like it is an important part of our growth with God. I think for me that has been a huge struggle. I don’t think it is a secret but I am not much of a cook. However, our team has been in charge of cooking the meals for everyone this summer. Cooking stresses me out, especially for a group as large as this. I also am failing to see the greater purpose for this stress. I doubt I will ever have to do something like this again, and I don’t really see how cooking will apply to being a pastor. I would like to say that I have had some great revelation about the purpose of cooking in my life but, honestly I haven’t. The truth is I have no idea how this is going to apply to my life. But that is okay because I don’t need to know because I have faith that God is using this for good. This knowledge doesn’t really make it any more enjoyable but it means that I am not working in vain.

This also applies to the rest of the internship. For the longest time I didn’t really have an understanding of the purpose of what I was doing but, God is faithful and has a purpose for what we are doing. As it turns out so does the leadership and I am finally gaining an understanding of what it is. We are working to develop and advance the vision of living LoGOFF (read Week 1 for a more detailed version of what that means). I am finally seeing the practical applications of what we are doing.

So what is the point of all this? Well, my point is patience and faith. God will reveal all things in his time. That doesn’t mean that it will be in this life but they will be revealed. This requires a lot of patience that I probably didn’t realize that I needed and a faith in God that I am not struggling in vain. So if you ever run into a situation like mine remember, God has a beautiful plan in mind that will be revealed in His time, have patience and faith in the LORD God above.

Week 2

 Hello all, God is good! He is LORD of all and he carries the world in his hands. He is the creator, sovereign God who has acted in the past and is continuing to act now and will in the future. He has reigned from the beginning of time and will continue till the end of it. He has shaped the world and has created us in His own image. He is truly good and is the only one worthy of praise. He is so full of love that he sent Jesus to take my sin and my burdens and replace them with his own. He loves me fully and wants me for his own. He is good no matter what and His love covers me and endures forever.

I decided to start off this post with that because I need to keep reminding myself that God is in control. This week has brought up a lot off challenges emotionally for me. I have spent the last two weeks learning about certifications like fair trade certification and USDA organic certification and the results were less than desirable. I learned a lot of farmers cannot afford to pay for the fair trade certification and are forced to live in poverty. The USDA certification doesn’t have a set fee and it depends completely on the official who is checking the farm. And these are some of the best systems to help people currently. On top of this I have learned a significant amount about the human trafficking going on in the United States. There are tons of prostitutes forced against their will to be slaves for their pimps in a system that punishes them for that.

All of this compounded had set me into a depression of sorts. I feel like the weight of all this is on my shoulders. I was painstakingly enlightened that the wold is even worse off than I thought. I have felt exhausted and defeated from all of this. However, despite all of this pain and suffering, God is greater. I don’t have to bear this weight because God is bigger than this problem and Jesus died on the cross so I’m not bound to this suffering. Though all of this is true, I have to keep reminding myself that it isn’t I who have to change the world but, God who is responsible for righting this wrong. I wasn’t meant to carry this burden God is. I am just a servant who is called to pray. By trying to take on this burden, I have been trying to take on God’s sovereignty. But by his grace I am learning to let go and let him take over in these situations.

Week 1

I have officially been at NYCUP one week! It has been a good experience so far, though there have been some challenges, God has been faithful. He has met me and challenged me to re-look at my personal choices in food, clothing and the like. I have learned that God meets people where they are, and even though I am not perfect God has grace for me.

For those of you who don’t know I am doing a summer project called NYCUP (New York City Urban Project). NYCUP focuses on students learning to grow and rely on the power of God, and being present as He transforms the world and invites us to follow. Specifically I am working on the LoGOFF team. LoGOFF stands for Local, Green, Organic, Fair, and Free. LoGOFF is a movement to transform the world back to what God intended it to be. This will never fully be realized until Jesus returns, but we are still commissioned to get as close as we can.

I have spent the past week learning as much as I can about what LoGOFF actually means. It isn’t just another movement, but an opportunity to walk along with God to be a part of how he is changing the world. I have learned more about each part of the acronym. Local doesn’t just mean buying from local places, but rather getting to know the people personally. Learning about the people who make your clothes or building friendships with the people who grow your vegetables. Green is about treating the earth as a limited resource and taking the steps to replenish the Earth rather than just taking from it. Organic being similar is about partnering with the Earth to produce your needs instead of beating it dry. Fair is about treating your fellow humans as humans, giving them fair pay and safe and decent work environment. Free is about not treating humans as an item or commodity to be sold or forced to work against their will. Many people forget that slavery is still happening in the world today and that there are people who need help.

To do this I have spent the past week doing a number of different types of research. Our group spent a fair amount of time doing online research. In addition we have practices what we have learned by going shopping and trying to make informed choices about our food. We have also spent some time at the farmer’s market getting to know the farmers and building relationships. A group of us spent this morning working on setting up an urban community farm/garden that will follow the principals of LoGOFF.

Learning all of this is rather heavy, and trying to live these things out with our purchases makes it more so. Fortunately there is God’s grace, we cannot be perfect but where we fall short God makes up the difference. It isn’t so much about making all the changes at once but learning about what is going on and trying to make a difference.